Fears

I am scared that I am suppressing my emotions. I've been people in my life who were very important in my life lately and instead of continuing the fight I've been giving up and finding new people to care about.

I'm terrified that something is going to happen to the people I love. Sometimes it keeps me up at night. I'll sit and think of all the horrible things that could happen.

My dad is gone a lot on business trips and I'm always afraid that his plane will crash. I'm afraid one of my parents will give up on the other and leave. I'm scared that if I do what I enjoy then I'll fail. I wont be good enough.

I'm afraid of being the same as every one else in this damn world. I'm afraid to go to far with this new found swearing/rebel thing. I probably won't but a big mistake would be bad.

I am afraid of people hating me. I'm afraid of what my old friends think of me. I know they gossip about me. I'm afraid of having a horrible marriage. I'm scared of messing up my future kids.

I'm afraid that I'm missing something, something important. I'm scared that I'll never live up to my potential. I'm afraid that I will miss an opportunity, or that I already have.

I'm afraid of big snakes and spiders even though I find them fascinating. I  have a fear of the unknown. I have a fear of the known.

I'm afraid that the religion I want so badly to believe in won't be real. I am afraid that people think I am a freak. One time when I moved to a new school I was accepted by the popular crowd for about a week. After that I heard then talking about me one of the guys said "It sucks that she is so weird, shes pretty hot". What a shitty thing to say, apparently I'm not cool enough for the way I look. I don't think I'm that attractive though... I'm afraid you can't see me.




Sage